The Quarterlife Crisis

Ambitious but aimless, hopeful but idealistic, liberated but indecisive. This is the problem that much of the youth of today face. Welcome to your quarterlife crisis.

Strange as it sounds, this phenomenon is more commonplace than you think. People in their mid-twenties to early thirties, usually urban, middle class and well-educated, report recurring feelings of unrelenting indecision, isolation, confusion and anxiety about working, relationships and direction; yet these are the people who should be able to capitalize on their youth, unparalleled freedom and free-for-all individuation. Unable to make any decisions because they don’t know what they want, they don’t know what they want because they don’t know who they are, and, bizarrely, they don’t know who they are because they’re allowed to be anyone they want.

This relatively new phenomenon arises from a generation of blithely self-indulgent children who were brought up believing steadfastly in their own uniqueness and right to self-determination. For their parents, the twenties were for saving up, buying houses and raising families; they were not particularly concerned about keeping their options open. In a bid to enforce their right to be whoever they want to be, the youth of today tread carefully, never wanting to make any concrete decisions, always waiting for a better opportunity to present itself.

Says Michael Kimmel, a sociologist and author of Guyland: The Perilous World Where Boys Become Men, “The Quarterlife Crisis is a kind of anticipatory crisis: ‘How is my life going to turn out? I don’t have a clue; I don’t have a map; I don’t have a vision for it.’” This is distinct from its older cousin, the Midlife Crisis; where individuals in their middle years go through a period of dramatic self doubt due to the realization of their fleeing youth and the imminence of old age. “The mid-life crisis is understood as one of resignation. A Quarterlife Crisis will resolve itself by hooking itself into a plan.”

However, that plan remains elusive to those stuck in the throes of their quarterlife crises. In an attempt to discover their life’s calling, they may indulge in behaviour such as massive drinking, doing drugs, promiscuity and other forms of harmful behavior, or they may join grad school. James, a 28-year-old student, says “Quarterlife crises are the reason that so many universities have turned lower-level graduate programs into a cash cow.” These programmes can provide direction as well as delay important choices such as their future career. However, the assumption that higher education definitely equates better jobs no longer stands in today’s economy. In addition, the twenty-somethings of today have been brought up to believe that they would take on jobs only if they were engaging and creatively fulfilling, and this is idealistic to say the least. According to Kimmel, “They don’t have much of a life plan about how to move from Point A to Point B. What happens very often is they have very big ambitions, [but] there is a mismatch between their planning for their lives and their ambitions.” This great leap between expectation and reality can be heavily demoralizing.

The void is largely due to the important evolution of sexual equality, and when sex, relationships, and family-building changes, everything does. According to Kimmel, men, in particular, see the period as “a kind of malaise that the end of your youth is really the end of fun. And that you’re never going to have any fun again, because you have to work. You’re never going to have sex again because you’re going to get married. Your life is over.” As such, literal and figurative fucking around is definitely more appealing to men who still haven not figured out what they want in future.


For women, conflict lies in self and family. Women are considered to be in biologically ideal form for baby-making in their twenties and early thirties, which are also prime fun-having and career-building years. For women who want all of the things promised by (theoretically) equal education, work and sex lives, the conflict of desires can be catastrophic. The addition of children into the equation makes them feel like they might be tied down, leaving them torn between the desire to start a family and to fulfill their own dreams.

In a nutshell, having so much- youth, ability, and independence- can feel like the worst possible scenario. What remains is the potential for these tumultuous years to be reclaimed. Marc Scheer, a career counsellor and educational consultant, sees real opportunity here. “If you feel you’re in crisis, this is a great opportunity to draft a five-year plan with steady concrete goals to help you get to where you want to be. Anyone can transform their life in just a few years.” Kimmel agrees with this assessment: “There is life on the other side of this, and it’s actually a pretty good one. Growing up may be hard to do, but in the end, the gains outweigh the losses.” In other words: it might just be time to snap out of it and grow up.